宽容的母亲（第一部）

当我把自己的生命交给耶稣时，圣灵感动我的心，让我意识到多年来一直克服不了的一种罪。这种特别的罪违反了十诫之一：“孝敬你的父母”（出20:12）。

当我祈祷大卫的祷告词时我才意识到这是罪：“上帝啊，求你鉴察我，知道我的心思，试炼我，知道我的意念；看在我里面有什么恶行没有，引导我走永生的道路。”（诗139:23-24）

也许麻烦是从我与一名非基督徒男子约会时开始的，我们当时生活在故乡马来西亚。母亲不喜欢我的男朋友，她对此毫不掩饰。当他向她打招呼时，她有时不理他。她好像每次见到他都会翻白眼。这种可怕的紧张关系持续了八年之久。

我也很固执。我从来没有考虑过我母亲的意见，我喜欢为难她。我几乎很少回家睡觉，因为我不想和妈妈在一起。

我开始向上帝祈求宽恕，我请求他帮助我遵守第五条诫命。接下来的两年里，我每天都失败。我在早上祈祷，当我走出卧室开始和母亲说话的那一刻，愤怒充满了我。妈妈和我的看法不一致，她真的让我很生气。我更加努力地祷告，但我甚至开始讨厌她敲我的门，告诉我饭菜已经准备好的声音。

我是一个非常无礼的女儿，我却对此无能为力。我有几个月没有和妈妈说话了。当她试图和我开始对话时，我完全无视她。我不知道怎么和她说话。显然，我无法原谅她。

我更加努力地祈祷。

上帝通过《圣经》回答了我。一天早上，我读耶稣记载在马太福音6:14-15节的话，“你们饶恕人的过犯，你们的天父也必饶恕你们的过犯；你们不饶恕人的过犯，你们的天父也必不饶恕你们的过犯。”然后我读了怀爱伦的《喜乐的泉源》一书，“与自我作斗争，乃是世界上最大的战争。制服自我，让一切顺从上帝的旨意，必须经过一番挣扎。但是灵魂必须先顺服上帝，才能更新成圣洁。”（第43页）

我意识到我是在犯一个危险的罪，我必须学会原谅我母亲，但我真的做不到，因为我不能谦逊地接受和原谅她。

上帝继续在我的心里动工，他帮助我再次开始和母亲交谈。赞美上帝！这是一个开始。但我知道我还有很长的路要走。尽管我们在谈话，但我们的沟通缺乏爱和耐心。以我人类的智慧，我可以列举出她应该受到粗鲁对待的许多原因。很多时候，我认为她需要得到教训，因为我们破裂的关系不全是我的错。

我祷告圣灵改变我，但如果不可能的话，就改变我的母亲。我记得一位不知名的作家说过一句名言：“有时上帝不会改变你的处境，因为他想改变你的心。”我越来越确信上帝想要改变我。但是怎么做呢？

如今，查梅因是泰国考拉府基督复临安息日会国际学校的幼儿园教师。在她加入学校之前，她终于与母亲和好了。下周了解更多信息。

来源：本文译自《圣工消息》（社会青年季刊）2022年第一季

Forgiving Mother (Part 1)

When I surrendered my life to Jesus, the Holy Spirit convicted my heart about a sin that I had been struggling with for many years. This particular sin breaks one of the Ten Commandments: “Honor your father and your mother” (Ex. 20:12, NKJV).

I realized the sin as I prayed the prayer of David, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps. 139:23-24).

Perhaps the trouble started when I dated a non-Christian man in my homeland of Malaysia. Mother did not like my boyfriend, and she made no secret about it. She sometimes ignored him when he greeted her with a “hello.” She seemed to roll her eyes every time she saw him. This terrible tension went on for the eight years that I dated him.

I also am hard-headed. I never took my mother’s opinion into consideration, and I enjoyed giving her a hard time. It got to the point that I rarely came home except to sleep because I didn’t want to spend time with my mother.

I began to pray to God for forgiveness, and I asked Him to help me to keep the Fifth Commandment. But I failed daily for the next two years. I prayed in the morning, and the very moment I walked out of my bedroom and started talking to Mother, anger filled me. Mother and I just did not see eye to eye, and she really annoyed me. I prayed harder, but I began to even dislike the sound of her knocking on my door and telling me that the food was ready.

I was a very disrespectful daughter, and I just could not seem to help it. I stopped speaking to Mother for a couple months. When she tried to start a conversation with me, I completely ignored her. I did not know how to speak with her. Apparently, I would not be able to forgive her.

I prayed even more.

God answered me through the Bible. One morning, I read Jesus’ words in Mat. 6:14-15, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Then I read in Steps to Christ by Ellen G. White, “The warfare against self is the greatest battle that was ever fought. The yielding of self, surrendering all to the will of God, requires a struggle; but the soul must submit to God before it can be renewed in holiness” (page 43).

I realized that I was clinging to a dangerous sin. I had to learn to forgive Mother, but I really could not do it because I could not humble myself to accept and forgive her.

God continued working on my heart, and He helped me to start talking to Mother again. Praise God! It was a start. But I knew that I had a long way to go. Even though we were talking, our conversations lacked love and patience. In my human wisdom, I could list many reasons why she deserved to be treated rudely. Many times, I thought that she needed to be taught a lesson because our broken relationship was not all my fault.

I prayed for the Holy Spirit to change me but, if that was not possible, to change Mother. I remembered a well-known quotation from an unknown author, “Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation because He wants to change your heart.” I grew certain that God wanted to change me. But how?

Today Charmaine is a kindergarten teacher at the Adventist International Mission School in Korat, Thailand. Before she joined the school, she finally was able to make peace with her mother. Find out more next week.

Please find the original article at: https://am.adventistmission.org/mqa22q1-24?